Adventures in Chinese Health Care

In order to live as an expat in China, one has to go through a physical exam administered by the Chinese government.  I have been dreading this physical since the minute our Real Estate agent mentioned it in our itinerary for this week.  So today we took a quick break in the great house hunt to get poked and prodded by Chinese doctors.

This is the sign for the health clinic.  I was not scared at all...

This is an AIDS prevention sign that was hanging in the waiting room.  Immature Anne could not stop laughing.  Take a closer look at the picture and you will see why.

When we arrived at the clinic, I needed to get 4 pictures taken.  I am thinking the government would like to have them in reserve in case I get arrested for some reason. 

This is my medical mug shot.

Anyhow, the whole process was kind of like going through customs and immigration…scary and extremely efficient.

The Chinese nurses had me get changed into a robe, and then I scurried from room to room to get tested for

1)   Weight

2)   Hypertension (Blood Pressure)

3)   Overall Health, Pneumonia, Bronchitis, etc.  (The doctor listened to my heart, looked in my eyes with a penlight, and used the same light to look at my ears and nose.  Not in my ears and nose, but at my ears and nose.)

4)   Heart Abnormalities (EKG).  FYI, they don’t use the little electrodes like we do in the states, they have these metal clips and suction cups that they clip to your leg, arm, and chest. I felt a bit like Frankenstein for a minute or two there.

5)   Hepatitis, HIV, Liver Function, and heavens knows what else.  (Blood Test)  (The Chinese government must have a HECK of a DNA library if they do this to anyone who will be living there over a year.)

6)   Liver and Kidney functioning (Ultrasound of both.)

7)   Vision.  (I had to tell the doctors the directions of the letters on an eye chart, and was tested for color blindness.  I know I could be a burden to the Chinese government if I was color blind.)

8)   Lung Health (X Ray)

All of these tests would have taken days to complete in the US, but not in China.  I was able to complete the exam in 15 minutes!!!  You gotta love assembly line health care!!

Easter in Shanghai

Today, Chris and I celebrated Easter in Shanghai. 

The majority of Chinese citizens are Atheists, Taoists, or Buddhists so Sunday felt like business as usual in the city.  I have to admit the absence of egg hunts, Easter bunnies, and folks dressed in their Easter finest was strange and sad.   

Luckily we were able to find an English mass at St. Ignatius Cathedral in downtown Shanghai.  My spirits instantly lifted once I heard familiar hymns and saw that the place was packed.

The exterior of St. Ignatius Cathedral

The cathedral's interior was a beautiful mix of Eastern and Western cultures.

After mass, we went to brunch and engaged in a little retail exploration.  Guess what I found…

I was so happy to locate a bit of girl heaven!  

Now if I could get past this thing called jet lag…

Tomorrow… House Hunters Shanghai!

First Impressions

 After 17+ hours in a comfy plane, Chris and I finally made it to Shanghai! Here is the view from our room at the Changfeng Park Marriott.

All I have to say is Toto, we are not in Kansas anymore.  Here are some notable differences that caught my jet-lagged attention.

1      Lonely Planet was right; people drive like maniacs.

On the car ride from the airport to the hotel, we almost got in 4 accidents.  It is okay for Chinese drivers to cut any vehicle or human off as long as they use their horns.

2    Chinese Airport Immigration, Security, and Customs are very well organized, but scary. 

The airport guards are so scary that they don’t allow you to photograph them.  Hence, I pulled this picture off the web.

3    Everyone Smokes.

I haven’t seen this many smokers in one concentrated area since before C. Everett Coop put health warnings on packs of cigarettes. 

4     It is considered rude for women to wear high heels (YAY!) and/or short sleeves.  (Boo).

According to the guidebook provided by our real estate agent, the Chinese frown on women who show too much.  So I guess the elbow cleavage will have to go into hiding.

They actually show music videos on MTV China.

I guess I am going to have to wean myself from guilty reality TV pleasures like Jersey Shore and Teen Mom.  The cool thing about this is I will more than likely learn the language from the 80’s style music videos.

     The Chinese government blocks Facebook, but allows Fox News.

Insert your own Chris Wilcox joke here.

We are now off to the French Concession area for Easter Mass and brunch!  Happy Easter! Fùhuó jié kuàilè!

Retail Therapy

According to some friends and some trusted sources, unless you are a size 4 or have teeny feet it is difficult to find shoes and clothing in China. 

So

For the first half of Spring Break my mother and lifelong style consultant, Pat Ahrens, and I road tripped to Atlanta. 

Mom and I at Nordstrom's Rack!  SO MANY SHOES!

Shopping with my Mom is always a great experience.  She always seems to know which stores to hit, and carries coupons, shopping passes and discount cards that save us mucho dinero.  She is also not shy about not letting me know if something looks awful.  When shopping with Mom, I always feel like Julia Roberts during the shopping montage of Pretty Woman.

After spending the GDP of a small country in Macy’s, Nordstrom, Belk and Bloomingdales, I am officially outfitted for my first year in China.  

Getting Ready for the Big Sale

I never considered myself or Chris to be hoarders.  Sure, we pick up paperback or two when we travel, buy tools when we have a home improvement plan, and snag new clothes when we need them.  However, I don’t consider us to be like the poor souls on cable who need licensed professionals to coax them out of their clutter.  

After our domestic relocation consultant told us that we could only take 220 Kg (about 458 lbs) of things via air freight and one 40 ft. container of sea freight, we realized it was time to de-clutter and sell sell sell!  

This weekend we have sorted through almost 11 years worth of electronics, books, clothes, tools, and other various household items in preparation for our moving sale!

As you can see from the artwork, we may be hoarders.  The good news is I have reclaimed half of my closet!

If you are interested in old Chemical Engineering textbooks, are itching to start that garden, or want to expand your VHS library come visit our mega sale this Saturday from  7am- 2pm.  Not only will you be getting valuable merchandise, you will have a chance to meet my mom, Pat “Money Bags” Ahrens.

Come all!  Buy our stuff!!

Skeeter Bait

Before living in China, it is important to be properly vaccinated.  Hence, I have been injected with close to $1000 worth of vaccines in the past few months.  The good news is that for the remainder of my life I will not be getting Polio, Hepatitis A OR B, Typhoid, Japanese Encephalitis or many other diseases that are transmitted by mosquitoes.  Despite the fact that I am super imunized, I was told by the nice needle wielders at Passport Health that I need to protect myself from malaria and skeeter transmitted diseases by using insect repellent. 

Many of you who know me know that I am fillet mignon to mosquitoes.  If there is a mosquito within 5 miles of my house, he or she will inevitably find me.  So in a proactive effort, I decided to give three different insect repellents a spin.  For those of you who are fillet like me...these reviews are for you.

For my test, I decided to give three separate products, Evada Bug, Deep Woods Off Wipes, and Sawyer’s Ultra 30 Insect Repellent a try. 

For three nights, I covered my arms, legs, hands, neck and face with each of the aforementioned repellents.  I would then sit out on my deck (skeeter heaven) for at least 30 minutes, then go inside to assess the damage.  I am very happy to say that I did not get a single bite in the testing process, but I do feel the need to report the pros and cons of each repellent.  

For Sunday night’s test run, I applied Evada Bug.  

Evada Bug is an all natural insect repellent that is sold at our local Piggly Wiggly.  (Yes Yankee friends, I do shop at ‘The Pig”.  Don’t judge.)  I took the green bottle and liberally applied the spray in my kitchen.  It is an oil based spray, so my floor quickly turned into an ice-rink.  Despite the fact that the repellent had no DEET, it did it’s job.  It even repelled my husband!  (I think his exact quote was ‘you smell like a hippie’.  Honestly, I thought the same thing.) Long story short, Evada Bug is stinky, all natural, and effective.

For Monday night’s test, I tried the Deep Woods Off Wipes. 

The smell of the Off brought back memories of Girl Scout Camp at Bee Tree Park.  I know that this stuff is tried and true.  I was even more excited that the skeeter fighting power that one finds in a can is now accessible in a wet nap.  (VERY cool for TSA purposes.)  I opened up a pouch and covered myself with OFF goodness.  I need to admit that I was disappointed that the wipe was dry after 20 seconds of air exposure.  The good news is that for a second night I did not get eaten alive.  I am also happy to report that I did not repel Chris either!  Mission accomplished!  Yeah for DEET!

For Tuesday night’s test, I tried Sawyer’s Ultra 30 Insect lotion a shot. 

This is the lotion the Passport Health folks sold me when I was still in shock over the move.  (I know, I am a sucker.)  I opened the bottle, and a white substance that resembled mayonnaise squirt out of the bottle.  Good news...it was odorless.  I took a seat in my deck throne and waited for the skeeter attack.  Nothing!  What validated the effectiveness of this product is that the mosquitoes were biting Chris!!!!!!!  I know I should not be happy about this, but you gotta love it when a test goes your way.

So which one will I be taking to Shanghai?  More than likely all 3.  A Girl Scout needs to be prepared, right?

The cat (and the cookies) are out of the bag.

Today, I broadcast our impending China adventure to my people at Beech Hill Elementary and Summerville Elementary.  I am fortunate to have received many fun and warm responses from my peers.  One of my coworkers stated that he was going to watch Kill Bill this weekend as a congratulatory tribute. Another brought me a bag of fortune cookies to share with the instructional technology team. :)

Many people have asked questions, so I am going to try to answer them on this post.

Q) Where are you going to live?

A) I don’t know.  As part of our relocation package, Chris and I will be taking a week long trip to Shanghai to play House Hunters International.  (No we are NOT going to be on the show, it is just a game. :) ) Bosch has paired us up with a real estate agent, Alex, who will hopefully show us some nice places.  I am thinking we will more than likely end up living in an expat community, however a Shanghai sky rise may be fun.  I will post pics as soon as I am able.

Q) What are you going to do while you are there?

A)  Again, I don’t know.  I am thinking that I can

1. Teach in one of the Western Schools
2. Teach English as a Foreign Language 
3. Apply for a sales job at the Apple Store in Pudong
4. Learn to be a professional Mah Jong player.

Q) Will you be taking the dogs with you?

1. Yes.  Ditka and Leia are our fur babies.  There is no way we would leave them behind.

Q) How long will you be there?

1. Three years, I think.

Q) Will you be able to come home during that time?

1. Yes.  As part of our relocation package, we will be heading home at least once per year.

Q) Will you bring your cars?

1. No. We are going to sell them. There is no way I would be able to manage the crazy Shanghai traffic.  One of my guide books states,

“Expect to get in at least two traffic accidents per year.”

If you are interested in a 2004 Chrysler Sebring or a 1998 Buick Century, please let me know.  

Q) What are you going to do with your house?

1. I don’t know.  We are still having the rental vs. selling conversation.

Q) Is Chris in the military?

1. No. He is an engineer who works for Bosch.

Q) Where will you live when you come back?

1. Again, I don’t know.

Q)  What are you going to do with all of your stuff?

1. We plan on holding a garage sale extravaganza.  Our mega sale will include volumes of Chris’ political propaganda, women’s clothing in multiple sizes, a lovely sofa and armchair, a vintage VCR and more!  I will post the sale date if you are interested.  

Bonus Question:  When do you leave?

1. Chris’ start date is June 1st, so we are thinking late May or early June.  On my birthday I may be eating authentic Chinese noodles for good luck!!!  

I will answer more questions as they come in.  Stay tuned for more adventures!